I have the decorators in at the moment, painting my living room. They have taken all of the furniture and piled into into the centre of the room and covered it in dust sheets while they do the walls. That's the sofa, the table, the piano... the television. I can't get to it. I can't get to the TV. Even if I could get to it, I couldn't put it in a place where I could switch it on and then sit down and watch it. Tonight there will be no television watching in this house. Right now I am not watching Home and Away, very shortly I will not be watching tomorrow's episode of Home and Away, and later tonight I will not only not be watching Flight of the Conchords, I won't be recording it either, because my PVR is unplugged too. AND IT'S THE LAST IN THE SERIES.
To say that this has induced a state of panic in me would be an understatement. Panic, despair, bewilderment. What the hell am I supposed to do tonight?
Read? Yes, I know I'm an author, but really. It's half past six. I usually go to bed around midnight. Read for five and a half hours? Illywhacker is a great book but it's not entirely easy reading. My brain will give up before the night is out.
Listen to Radio Four? Maybe. But what am I supposed to do with my eyes?
Clean? You have got to be joking. And anyway, the decorators are just going to create more dirt.
Macrame? Needlepoint? Collage? I don't have the equipment. Also, I have the artistic ability of a duck with the squits.
No. I NEED MY TELEVISION. I am not ashamed to admit it, I am an addict. I like watching television. This may be an unfashionable statement, but it's true. It provides me with a lot of pleasure and also good company. I was interviewed today by someone who doesn't have a television, and her justification was this: "There is good stuff on TV but there is so much rubbish too." Well, you don't have to watch the rubbish. You can just watch the good stuff. Strictly! Conchords! Heroes! Doctor Who! There's even a documentary with a friend of mine in it tonight.
But I won't be watching it. I won't be saying goodbye to Bret, Jemaine and Murray (I love you Murray! Don't forget me!) either. Tonight I will probably have a bath, make myself some dinner, read for a couple of hours and then go to bed at around 10pm. Does this sound fun to you? Does it sound healthy? Then, after 8 hours sleep, I might wake up at 6 tomorrow! That's still last night! What's the point of being up at 6? There's nothing on TV at 6!
WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO WHEN A GIRL HAS TO CHOOSE BETWEEN GETTING UP EARLY AND MAKING HER OWN ENTERTAINMENT? I DEMAND MOVING PICTURES MADE BY SOMEBODY ELSE TO KEEP ME OCCUPIED UNTIL MIDNIGHT AT LEAST!!!
Oh actually, I've just realised, I could sit at my computer tonight and watch Gilmore Girls on DVD.
Thank goodness for that. I thought I was going to have to think my own thoughts for a minute.
Phew........
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8 comments:
you can come and watch the last episode of conchords at ours on dvd... it is a good one, in fact is great, and there is dancing, you'll love it x
Enjoy the peace and quiet. Is that a picture of your living room?
Sadly no. I think we did have that telly when I was little though.
There was always the option of going to the cinema. WHat did you end up doing?
See above...
www.alluc.org I've just watched the whole series of Californication - pure male fantasy brilliance. There's everything and more and it's FREE.
Ah yes, Californication. It's a point of personal pride that I don't fancy Duchovny in that, even though he has that bad-boy-rescue-me-no-fuck-me thing going on. I may finally be developing a bit of nous in my old age.
No telly! But we need your opinion on Strictly! What does it mean that Vincent chose Matt and Flavia's salsa as his favourite dance? How horrified did Matt look when the three of them all sat together on the sofa? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?
I hope you get your telly back soon.
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