X Factor Final

I recorded the X Factor final and the results show which means that with judicious use of the fast forward button I managed to get through about 2 hrs 40 mins of television in approximately half an hour, and I probably enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than anybody who actually had to sit through Kym Marsh in North London, surrounded by Alexandra Burke fans, asking them if they thought she was any good, which, I am guessing, they did.

As did I. Thank god she won. There was no way that I could countenance a JLS victory after the one on the end with the funny shaved head pulled a cheesy R'n'B come-on grin during Hallelujah - which, Simon Cowell, is not a Christmas song, even if it has a religious word in it. Eoghan, the High School Musical leprechaun, went out in the first half of the finals so we were denied his version, about which I am utterly dejected, because I was hoping they they would have the same dancing teenagers they wheel out for everything else he sings. Alexandra turned it into a massive power ballad which was only to be expected but at least she does massive power ballad well.

I actually love Alexandra, and I feel quite guilty about having thought she was a cheap Leona Lewis knock-off, and I am totally delighted that she has won, and can actually put up with the thought of her releasing singles and stuff, which is not quite the case for all reality show winners. (I do wonder what it is like for the likes of Dannii Minogue and Cheryl Cole "mentoring" people who are such better singers than they are.) Anyway, I particularly enjoyed Alex singing with Beyonce, who tried to look happy about it but gave off the unmistakeable aura of a member of royalty not used to having to touch other human beings and really hoping that Alex didn't get snot on her dress when she sobbed into her shoulder. I was, however, disappointed that they didn't give her an upbeat song to sing but just a series of soupy ballads. Thus, in tribute to her win, I post her rendition of Candyman from Big Band week, in which she looks absolutely stunning and has FUN and is surrounded by sexy sailors in stripy tops. I am all about fun at the moment. Probably because I have spent the entire festive season at home ill and haven't had any. Anyway, enjoy: