Tea and Kittens

Today I am mostly loving this (with thanks to Bagelmouse.)

If it was merely a website offering photographs of inviting cups of tea and adorable kittens, it would already be halfway to genius. However, it also offers a function whereby you can set your browser to automatically redirect you to the Tea and Kittens site every time you try to access the Daily Mail or the Express websites. And that, my friends, is what separates the Albert Einsteins from, well, from the physicists I haven't heard of.

For the love of Brosnan

Lalala I haven't watched it I HAVEN'T WATCHED IT.

Well what the hell else have I been watching then?

Pierce Brosnan movies. Obviously. And I have been writing about my admiration / love / obsession / pathological disorder about Pierce Brosnan over on the Beat Website. Which has lots of other fantastic and slightly more serious articles for you to read. Once you have finished reading mine, naturally.

What's that you say? A sample, so that you can decide whether to click or not? Very well...

Pierce Brosnan is everything a movie star should be: handsome, debonair, with perfect teeth and a full head of hair, able to keep his head when all around him are losing theirs and blaming it on the script / director / co-star / catering, this is a man who even managed to retain his dignity, not to mention his sex appeal, while dressed as a lobster on The Muppet Show.

Ah, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on.

Fuck You, Dixons

I hate this advert.

"Get really terrific service finding something you want, and then fuck the shop over because you can get it more cheaply on a website where they don't need to pay the overheads of shop rental, display items and helpful salespeople who know what they're talking about. Eventually the shop will close down and the helpful salesperson will lose his job, and your high street will be a desolate wasteland, and the only place left on earth to shop will be dixons.co.uk, and you'll be screwed because next time you want a TV there won't be a display item or a helpful salesperson, but who cares, because you got a cheap TV."

If you want to shop online, shop online, but don't use the real world to browse. You're only getting it cheaper because you're stealing expertise.

The Choir pt 2

Another episode of The Choir to stoke my Gareth Malone crush. This time, Gareth is adorable with kids. This is hardly fair on the poor viewing public who don't want to swoon all the way off the sofa. Next week, Gareth will be adorable surrounded by young cockney fellas in hats, and I don't think I will survive. So just as well we are discussing this now.

I found myself perusing his website, just passing by chance, you know, and I came upon the 'Contact Me' form, thus.

You'll note there's a drop down menu for 'subject'.

Your choices are: Fan mail; school workshops; teacher training; choral societies / choirs; events; presenting; personal appearance; website feedback; and other.

*So* tempted to pick 'personal appearance' and just write 'cute'...

I have given in.

And it only took me one month and 19 days. The month was February, mind.

Oh my god.

I'm on Wikipedia! That's so exciting! And I can only see two mistakes.

And I Owe It All To Dirty Dancing: The Classic Story On Stage

Remember this? Yes, only a fortnight ago the Gender Analyzer was convinced to the tune of 76% that I was a bloke. Today, it is 95% sure that I am a woman.

Can it be coincidence that for the last few days I have blogged exclusively about bad sex, X Factor and Dirty Dancing: The Classic Story On Stage?

When Computer Predictions Go Wrong

I have just received an e-mail from Lastminute.com saying that as I loved 'Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf', I should also enjoy 'The Sound of Music', 'Phantom of the Opera' and eating pizza.

Gender Confusion

According to GenderAnalyzer, found by way of Oye Billy, there is a 76% likelihood that The Woman Who Talked Too Much is written by a man. It does slightly make you wonder which tools they are using to perform the analysis. According to the site, it uses "artificial intelligence", which is not quite the same as real intelligence, which might have focused on (a) the name of the blog, (b) the content, or (c) the tendency to post pictures of David Tennant looking sultry.

I am a boy. The reason my new novel hasn't come out yet is that I am too busy having slow, painful electrolysis of my entire body, hair by sizzling hair.

Garfield Minus Garfield

My new favourite website.