Well. That was a bit boring, wasn't it? And for a Doctor Who episode about pirates and supernatural supermodels, it was VERY boring. Boring like an apparently bloodthirsty siren eating away her way through humanity turns out to be a rather nice hologram of a nurse. Boring like half an episode spent in a volatile gunpowder store, with not only no explosions but not even the suggestion of a threat of an explosion. Boring like hiring Lily Cole and then making her only communicate by the sound of ghostly humming. Boring like setting up a massive coincidence whereby the Tardis, a pirate ship and an alien spaceship are all adrift in the exact same bit of space, and nobody so much as mentions that it's a bit odd. Boring like the Doctor not being able to figure out what the hell is going on and therefore having nothing at all of interest to say. Boring like no River Song. Boring like Rory dying AGAIN (is anybody keeping count of how often Rory dies? that's got to be at least three times so far), and Amy giving up on resuscitating him after about two minutes (despite his confidence that she'll "never give up") and then he comes back to life anyway. Boring like a murderous pirate who'd risk the life of his own small, Rada-educated son for a shiny crown not getting any kind of comeuppance and instead getting to spend the rest of his life flying around space with said son in a gigantic spaceship which was previously staffed by aliens but is apparently easily flown by a 17th century human. You know. Boring. And maybe a smidge unconvincing.
I liked Amy swashbuckling, though. It seemed to come naturally to her.
Employee gets laid off due to extreme body odor: ‘I genuinely felt bad for
him. He had only just started the job and hadn’t really had the chance to
show what he could contribute. You could tell he felt embarrassed and
ashamed’
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To pass the smell test
I felt really identified with this story because I've had to deal with this
issue multiple times in my life. I don't mean with my bo...
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And confusing, like: what happened to the pirate who was from Press Gang? And stupid, like: why didn't the Doctor just TARDIS Rory to a hospital while Amy was spending the two minutes doing CPR she could be arsed to manage?
(For the first 20 minutes I loved it though. I looked at the clock and was surprised to see the episode wasn't further on, so much seemed to have happened.)
Shit, not Londonist, me.
I forgot to mention the idiocy of when the Doctor, pirate and Amy are teleported to the alien ship, how come they don't end up on life support?
Rachel, I looked at the time at 20 minutes in as well. So maybe there was a tidal wave of boredom or stupidity right at that moment.
Yes, yes, absolutely. Why are all the pirates on life support for a cut finger? Why can the pirates with cut fingers not go back to their normal ship instead of staying on the spaceship? They don't need the Siren Doctor looking after them when they're awake. All they've got is cut fingers.
I should probably stop thinking about this now.
Oh, for god's sake...
The only reason I can think of is that the cut finger pirates are sticking around so that they can sail through space raping and pillaging the universe. Which doesn't seem to be quite the value system we've come to expect from Doctor Who.
It was utterly dreadful:
1. Why was the Tardis behaving like a clapped-out Austin Allegro?
2. Where did Amy Pond learn how to sword fight?
3. Why would a holographic doctor need to sing?
4. How were the pirates able to adapt so easily to piloting an advanced alien spaceshift (saying "One ship's much like another" isn't a good enough reason)?
5. Why did Matt Smith talk like a smart-arsed teenager? (Even more than usual)
Every time Lily Cole appeared, I was expecting a perfume commercial ("Pirate...Nautical, but nice..."). It didn't work.
I just hope that this isn't a prelude to further 'space pirates' stories - with any luck, they'll go into a black hole and never be seen again.
Here's another question - why couldn't the Doctor (or Amy or Rory) communicate with the Siren right away since the TARDIS is supposed to put that ability into your head?
That set for the alien ship's infirmary reminded me old time 'Lost In Space' sets when Irwin Allen was saving a buck or two.....
Actually, the infirmary set was a direct steal from the old movie Coma, wasn't it? http://goo.gl/g1nSD
Yes, yes. All well and good. Plenty of inconsistencies, I know. But...
* Amy Pond in a pirate costume *
Need I really say more?
Elder daughter has introduced us to a web site that allows us to watch BBC One. The thrill of being able to see Doctor Who at the same time as Brits was mitigated somewhat by being exposed to some horror entitled "Cash or Carrots". (You guys pay for this?)
On the Persephone Rewatchability Scale, this was a definite "meh". Sorry, guys, Amy in hose just doesn't pack that much of thrill for us Breeders. Neither does Dr Mermaid taking her little stroll on the catwalk. (On the catwalk, yeah, on the catwalk, she shakes her little tail on the catwalk...)
Kind of a clunky mix of the Nanogenes from "The Empty Child" with "The Next Doctor", wasn't it? The kid even looked kind of like a bigger version of the little tyke who played David Morrisey's son in TND. If we're going to go with plot inconsistencies, how many days or weeks did Typhoid Gary have to hide out in that barrel before being discovered? They say they have only a barrel of water left and that they're a hundred miles from England; where are they becalmed, exactly? The Irish Sea?
One other discovery we made while being able to watch BBC One live: you people are spared Amy's little narrative before the opening credits. This season, they've felt compelled to explain what Doctor Who is before each episode in a little opening monologue-over-montage, rather like Quantam Leap or something. After three episodes, it's starting to wear thin.
Yes dull and I am in favour of everything featuring pirates ever (except Pirates of the Caribbean sadly, because Keira Knightley only has 2 facial expressions available to her). And when Matt Smith is like 'Oh he has a fever, if she let's him go he'll definately die' - not all fevers end in death y'know.
And MOST IMPORTANTLY why is Lily Cole not allowed to talk at all? Dodgy.
I did enjoy Rory asking Amy to dress like a pirate more often though.
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