International Women's Day

Chances are you've already seen this, but loving this video for International Women's Day:



1. You get to look at Daniel Craig.
2. You get to listen to Judi Dench's voice.
3. It's very short.
4. You get to hear why, alas, we still need an International Women's Day, and you don't crawl out the other end feeling patronised or bored.

I've heard a few people asking why there isn't an International Men's Day. There is, it's on November 19th. Perhaps you can get a video of Angelina Jolie in a really nice trouser suit talking about teenage suicide statistics. Or indeed a rerun of this excellent Rachel Stevens public service announcement:

Are you my ideal man?

I have just found my list of requirements for the perfect man, dated 30th May 1992 (I was 16):

- cooking
- knitting
- Irish accent
- Tall
- Sense of Humour
- Friendly
- Nice smile
- Nice dark hair (not too short)
- Ability to quote Shakespeare

I am, as yet, unmarried. This may explain why. Of course, if this is you, feel free to leave me a note in the comments.

Music Monday: Crush Special

There's not been a lot of talk of David Tennant round these parts of late. Fear not, I would still leap onto him like a kitten up curtains given even the slightest hint of a chance, but in terms of crush maintenance it has been tricky. David has been doing a lot of resting since his stint as Doctor Who, and when he hasn't been resting, he has been doing voiceovers for Tesco and filming BBC1 dramas for which advance stills look like this -



A BBC1 drama about a widowed dad, set at a farm show with people dressed in battle reenactment costumes, carrying fishing rods and in mid-1990s indie clobber in the background? It's just as well I love you David. Love is ever forgiving. Ever forgiving. Even so, I'd really prefer it if you didn't turn into the male Sarah Lancashire.

And then there's Michael Cera. Now I've had a Michael Cera thing since Superbad, and I have to be very careful around underage-era Arrested Development DVDs, but last week I went to see Scott Pilgrim - which is fabulous, incidentally, in an I-wish-I-was-still-a-teenager-and-could-dye-my-hair-blue-without-looking-like-an-eejit way - but for Michael Cera I felt nothing, in the trouser department anyway. Nada. In fact my affections were far more taken by Kieran Culkin as his flatmate Wallace. That's Kieran Culkin, brother of Macauley, as his gay flatmate, Wallace. Au revoir Michael, I guess all good things come to an end.

Just as well I have backup, really. Here's Benedict "Sherlock" Cumberbatch doing his best to make me fancy the suit off both him and DT (taking one for the team, Ben - nice, very nice):



And then there's new arrival Joseph Gordon-Levitt. JGL is 29 and has been hovering on the brink of cute for quite some time, being hilarious but underage and bad of hair in Third Rock from the Sun, and then dorky-cute and standing too close to Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You, and then intense-cute in I-didn't-like-it-as-much-as-I-was-told to Brick. But THEN I saw him in Inception with his hair sorted out, stealing a kiss off Ellen Page and doing exceedingly cool things in zero gravity. And THEN THEN there was this in (500) Days of Summer - aha - did you wonder when the music was going to kick in?



OK so full disclosure: that was Hall & Oates, and actually I wanted the bit when he sings 'Here Comes Your Man' in the karaoke bar, but Youtube didn't have it, and I started this out as a musical post, and that's an incredibly cute dance sequence even if the fringe was an error, but the clothes were just right, and also did I mention cuteness, and SIGH, and I should do some work now.

This was just a public service announcement to let you know my hormones are in full working order. There may be more coherent posts later in the week.

Excuse

I mean to be blogging, it's just that I am working really hard. Yes. It does happen.

Meanwhile, here's a picture of Stringer Bell with his glasses on.

The Great Crush Gallery: And The Gents

Rather more competition for the title of best male first crush, beginning with my own nomination, pre-trailed here - Adam Ant. Let's just get another look at him.



Oh, Adam. Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

Up next is Lisa Gee's first love, who is a drawing. A drawing of a musketeer, but nevertheless a drawing. Bonjour, d'Artagnan!



Time is our enemy, so let's crash on. Baroness Black was a young admirer of Aha, and Jessica of Morten Harket, and I'm hoping the Baroness will allow Morten to stand in for his bandmates for the purposes of this scientific study:



You know, this poll is putting me in a really good mood.

Annabel Gaskell's heart beat only for David Cassidy:



Who looks, and this will not go down well in certain sectors, like a cross between my brother and one of my sisters.

Whereas Jane Henry was torn between David McCullum:



Okaaaaay... and Bob Geldof:



That's a very generous choice of image for Mr Geldof and it took me some time to find. But he does spend so much time and effort helping the poor kiddies of Africa.

Calistro was also a fickle mistress, vacillating between Buck Rogers -



and Shakin' Stevens, the Elvis of Wales:



Interesting. Bar the outfits, they are basically identical.

Staying in the popzone, how about Jaywalker's beloved Mark Shaw, then of Then Jerico?



Or even Justin Hayward of the Moody Blues, who captured Raye S's heart?



That's... an interesting choice, Raye.

Quick, to Miss B's object of adoration, Jared Leto as he appeared in My So Called Life:



Is anybody noticing a certain big eyes, long hair type theme going on here? They all look like baby fauns. I think we need some leather, TCJM:



Thank heavens for that. This manly specimen is Avon from Blakes 7, portrayed by Paul Darrow.

Charles Lambert prefered the charms of Dave Clark of the Dave Clark Five:



While Laura, as a toddler, could not get enough of Rick Astley:



(Evil Pixie liked Rick too, but ONLY his voice. She is VERY clear about this.)

A more grown-up Laura, at the lofty age of 10, graduated to an obsession with Robbie Williams. Now, it was very important to me to pick an image of Take That era Robbie Williams, otherwise it Would Not Have Been Fair. So here you are (Robbie, helpfully, is circled):



Mmmm. Sexy.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is our lot. So if you would be kind enough to cast your votes:

poll by twiigs.com

poll by twiigs.com

Lady Meets Gent: A True Story, In One Act

SCENE: INTERIOR, BASEMENT CORRIDOR OF A BAR IN HOXTON SQUARE. NIGHT.

It is a short corridor with unmarked doors at each end, and the entrances to the Ladies' and Gents' toilets next to each other in one of the walls.

MARIE PHILLIPS emerges from the Ladies' toilet. She is a 33-year-old novelist of very minor renown. She pauses in confusion: unequipped with any kind of sense of direction, she does not know which of the two unmarked doors leads to the bar.

A MAN comes out of the Gents'. MARIE turns to him in some relief.

MARIE: It's this door isn't it?

Midway through this sentence, MARIE realises that the MAN is in fact DOMINIC WEST, internationally acclaimed 39-year-old star of THE WIRE. DOMINIC WEST is far taller, better looking and less sweaty than his character JIMMY MCNULTY appears on screen, and is wearing a particularly fetching tweed jacket.

DOMINIC WEST: (slightly surprised to have been addressed) Yes, I think so.

MARIE opens the door which does indeed lead to the staircase up to the bar.

MARIE: They really should mark these doors.

DOMINIC WEST: Nonsense.

[Long pause]

DOMINIC WEST: Then we wouldn't have had this exchange.

MARIE and DOMINIC WEST walk side by side up the stairs.

MARIE: This brilliant exchange.

They both laugh.

[Very long pause]

MARIE: It's not one of my better ones.

MARIE and DOMINIC WEST return to their respective tables.

CUT

Paul Gross

The Canadian David Tennant? Really?

Actually, I liked Due South a lot, but Paul Gross looks a bit too much like a cross between my brother and one of my cousins, and that is a major disincentive for developing a crush on him.

Any other suggestions?

Admission

I am in love with the men from Steve Hatt fishmongers in Islington. They are all dead sexy, even if they do smell of fish.