I didn't watch Strictly Come Dancing last night, I went from drinks at Sketch instead, a bar where the toilets are individually positioned in giant eggs, inside which they play you a recording of someone apparently reading aloud in Czech.Just thought I'd mention.
I did, however, watch it this afternoon, and thus, casting all ado to the wind, let's kick in. Theme tune yadda yadda, Bruce yadda, Tess monosleeve odd hair yadda, off we go.
1. Zoe & James, Foxtrot. Zoe stepped out in a lovely white dress complete with neck scarf, perfect for hanging herself with if dancing with James gets too much. They were dancing to that song which by law has to appear in every romantic comedy ever made, the one that goes "This! Will! Be! An everlasting love." The dance was elegant but a little lifeless. Am I suffering from Strictly fatigue? Usually I love Zoe. Len gives her a 9. Insanity. Tess calls Zoe the 'dark horse' of the competition. Drink!
2. Chris & Ola, Salsa. Training footage horrifying, involved Chris humping a pillar. Dude, no. Out on the floor, Ola is wearing a pink pussy pelmet. This is giving sex a bad name. However I am slightly ashamed of myself for enjoying this salsa as much as I did because I know it was only because of the dancing faces. If I was on the panel (and yes, I am available) I would soon become known as the bonkers judge who gives everyone an extra point (at least) if they do good dancing faces. Afterwards Bruno says Chris dances like Bob the Builder - uncannily accurate - and Craig complains that he minces too much. Bruce replies "Don't you talk about mincing" thus demonstrating himself to be a homophobe as well as a racist. New presenter, please.
3. Lynda & Darren, foxtrot. In the training footage, Lynda is honest and endearing about her body anxieties, not helped by being made to dance in a hideous dress the colour of weak tea with a back that looks like busted corsetry, and when it comes to judging time Alesha excellently says that "I don't want to see a 5 ft 10 stick insect, you're Lynda Bellingham" hurrah! Sadly in between Lynda dances a dance which sees her get the boot after the dance off, and sees me wondering (no!) whether I have got bored of watching people dancing badly (no! no!) Alesha mentions Lynda's "emotional journey", Lynda herself talks about her "journey" to Tess. If we were playing the drinking game we'd be drunk already. Am beginning to wonder whether "journey" isn't code for "looks bad in the outfits". A 7 from Len. Len is clearly having one of his weird marking nights, oh dear.
4. Ali & Brian, salsa. Very complex choreography in this one, and Ali does a good job I think, but to be honest I just watch Brian. I do like watching Brian dancing the salsa. I have not yet figured out why his nostrils look so much bigger on TV than in person. This will preoccupy me for some time, I'm sure. Ali is dressed, as so many of the dancers are this season, as a whore in a Western. This is not a good look. 8s all round.
5. Jo & Brendan, foxtrot. They dance to Crazy, and what with the crazy camerawork and Jo's crazy long feathered dress I can't see enough of the dance to muster up any opinion about it at all.
6. Natalie & Vincent, salsa. Natalie dances the entire dance with her fists clenched, but nobody seems to mind as, as usual, she has cranked this one right up to 11. I love her and Vincent as a couple, she brings out his humour and tones down his sleaziness, and as usual his choreography is bang on. Love the bit when she dances alone. Definitely wakes me out of my Strictly stupor.
7. Joe & Kristina, foxtrot. Joe beings his dad, who is also his coach, into training. His dad is a full foot shorter and a full foot narrower than Joe and looks like a Chuckle Brother dressed as Nick Cave. Joe & Kristina dance to Feeling Good, and I am feeling pretty good as this is a huge improvement on previous weeks, and Kristina is knockout, the hardest-working dancer on the floor. Craig's comment is that he can't see any improvement. I worry as to his memory.
8. Laila & Anton. Clearly there has been a meeting about this and nobody is mentioning the P*ki thing. IT NEVER HAPPENED. Laila kisses Anton's cheek as they walk own the stairs. IT NEVER HAPPENED. The training footage is all about how well they are getting on. IT NEVER HAPPENED. And then they only go out and dance the best dance of the night. I wonder if Len is going to have a break out a 10 after overmarking Zoe so wildly but he gives her a 9 as well. There is a lot of wriggle room in a Len 9.
9. Ricky Whittle & Natalie, salsa. Watching the training footage just makes me want to go and watch his Paso again. There's a totally gratuitous bit in training where he lifts his top up for no reason. Bloody hell, that's a bod. Then they come out and do a salsa that I really like, with sexy hip moves and great out of hold stuff and a backflip. And Len and Alesha both flip out. They hate it. Len loathes the backflip and Alesha gets very angry and says that it's "cheesy, not cool", that he is "better than that" and he's "no Andrew Castle". I wonder what it is like for Natalie Lowe, Australian dance champion several times over, to have Alesha Dixon, ex of Mis-Teeq, diss her choreography. They all give them 8s anyway.
10. Craig & Flavia, foxtrot. They are dancing to 'Sometimes When We Touch', a song so cheesy it has its own rind. I am, as usual, feeling extraordinarily sorry for Craig, who is still dancing like a rabbit caught in headlights, except that afterwards he says that it was his best dance ever and so I have had to accept that it isn't nerves and he is just a bit shit. He and Flavia end up in the dance-off, inevitably, but live to dance another day. My advice to Craig is that it will do him no harm whatsoever to smile. During the dance ideally, but before or after would do. Len gives him a 7. I worry what jetlag is doing to Len.
11. Jade & Ian, salsa. It's all about the headgear. Jade's got a headband on for the dance, in training she's got half a dozen hats, Ian chooses inexplicably to give a training interview in a flat cap and scarf, and then, in a very frightening move, Jade takes Ian onto the running track and he wears a hideous sweatband around his head. No, no, no. Jade's running in a tough field but her salsa is great. She does have a tendancy to flail a bit, but then again her legs are eight feet long.
12. Ricky Groves & Erin, foxtrot. These two, purely on the basis of personal chemistry, are shaping up to being my favourite couple. I love the fact that Erin can't stop laughing in training no matter what Ricky does. This is actually a very nice foxtrot, particularly given that Ricky prefers dances where he can ham it up. Also particularly given that Erin seems to have a lock of her hair superglued to her forehead to approximate a fake fringe: nasty. For no apparent reason Len makes another dig at Ricky Whittle in the judging, and gives Ricky Groves a somewhat undeserved 8. I have no idea what's going on with Len tonight.
13. Phil & Katya, salsa. Phil has has knee surgery and Katya has had her hair crimped so they are both dancing with a handicap. The choreography is very odd, particularly the opening section where Phil wriggles his bum while Katya just stands there. But I love Tuffers, and so does everybody else. Free pass to next week.
While waiting for the results, there is a rather lame tap dance interlude, a very lame appearance from a 13-year-old singer whose presence is surely unrelated to the fact that her godmother and (vacant-looking, uncoordinated) backing singer is Amy Winehouse, and an unpleasantly schmalzty and dull bit of VT where all the contestants say that they want to win, not for themselves, perish the thought, but for their dancing partner / family / fans / dog / etc.
And then Lynda goes home.
Sigh. I have a bit of Strictly Fatigue this week, I've got to admit it. I need to watch Phil Tufnell do the Cha Cha from week 2 again.
That's better.
The whole show, and individual dance clips, can be found on the official website.
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11 comments:
I feel better after that Tuffers flashback. Is it worrying that the show is only worth watching for the middle-talent players at the moment (Phil, Ricky Gee, Natalie Cassidy)?
Incidentally, Anton and Laila covered the race row in uneasy length during It Takes Two, but Claudia Winkleman LOVES EVERYBODY so there wasn't a lot of room for a telling-off.
Am not convinced of Anton's racism (I think Laila would have called it and she had weeks to do so) but from the doddery point of view you've certainly given me more to think about with Brucie...
I did however misread the BBC's roundup of events and thought Lynda Bellingham had lost out after Len gave the deciding vote to Ned Kelly, which confused me a little.
I rather liked Dionne Bromfield, to be honest, even if it is a little ominous that Amy is bringing a singing prodigy into the world. I supose she's too young to get into what Amy got into from nineteen onwards.
This counts as my first and last time I'll ever watch Strictly, because of the singing; Barrowman was the only reason I sat through an episode last year.
I too thought I must have stumbled upon a romantic comedy when they cracked out the "This! Will! Be!"
Just lauged out loud at the Chuckle Brother dressed as Nick Cave observation. Ne'er a truer word . . .
I think Anton was totally stupid to say what he did, but then he's a bit of a plonker. What I think is worse is the inconsistency the BBC have to this kind of thing. If Carol Thatcher gets the boot for using the word golliwog, why doesn't Anton for saying paki. Oh because he's one of their rising stars and they want him to take over from Brucie. Poor old Carol was never going to take over from anyone was she. (Not that I feel very sorry for her but she is an odd sock.)
Anyway I was out on Sat too, so I missed most of it. Thanks for the hilarious update. I did see Natalie's salsa. Totally bonkers but I am loving her and Ricky Groves. I hope they stay in for ages. Linda B obviously can't dance at all so had to go, but I will miss her defiant attitude when Craig was being so rude.
As I can't watch it I tend to skim-rad your Strictly blogs, which is why I at first read "rather tame lap dance" and did a double take. Good for laugh on a Monday morning!
Great blog. I must admit to laughing at Amy Whinehouse trying to lift her arms in time to the music, but we got to see Matthew Cutler do a sexy dance in a sexy top, so the performance by Artist-To-Always-Be-known-As-Amy Whinehouse's-Goddaughter was much enjoyed! :)
I was a bit thrown when Aliona came on to dance with Matthew. Like: what, is she still here?
If Carol Thatcher gets the boot for using the word golliwog, why doesn't Anton for saying paki.
Well the argument is that he fully apologised and she didn't.
If you take out the elements common to both apologies of:
a) insisting they're not racists; and
b) pointing out that it was a private remark, said in jest
...you have, from her:
"...she regrets any inconvenience caused."
And from him:
"...I accept that it is a term which causes offence and I regret my use of it, which was done without thought or consideration of how others would react. I apologise unreservedly for any offence my actions might have caused."
He then went on to say (on It Takes Two):
"I feel embarrassed and I feel stupid – it was a stupid thing to do and a stupid thing to say."
His first was a bit weasily (IMHO) but I can see that he has perhaps apologised a more fully, especially with the second one. On the other hand, it's not quite as binary as some are suggesting (those who are saying that he apologised and she didn't).
I don't know how I feel about him, to be honest.
Carol Thatcher "regrets any inconvenience caused"? That's what she said? *Inconvenience*? I can see why they sacked her. That's not an apology for racism, that's an apology for delaying a train. She doesn't sound sorry at all. In fact, apologising for the inconvenience sounds a bit to me like taking the piss.
Anton's apology is better, but I can't help but think that once you have revealed yourself as the kind of person who calls people racist names then it's a bit late to say sorry. "OK, from now on I won't say it but I will think it"?
Re the sackings, we also don't know what went on behind the scenes. I imagine there were meetings with both of them where the incidents were discussed and maybe Anton was a lot more contrite than Carol. Who knows.
jonnynexus fair enoughski. That is an abysmal response from Carol Thatcher. But I agree with Marie that Anton's is a bit pathetic too. Maybe he was contrite, but it shows an appalling lack of judgement to have even said the word, let alone revealing latent racist tendencies. I do think the fact that the Beeb have a vested interest in his career has made a difference in this case.
"New presenter, please." Marie you said it and I've been thinking it for a while: Brucey is getting unbearable. The only snag is who else can do it? Who can be primetime, and family friendly, comfortable somewhere more camp than Butlins without themselves being annoyingly camp (which rules out most of the contenders I was thinking of originally). One name springs to mind... Wogan! Surely that would rule.
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