Strictlywatch 2010: week, um, whatever. Not sure.

Gearing up for another exciting live blog of Strictly, with a difference! Tonight the blog will be featuring contributions from the Pack Jury: Rhian (mum), Scott (dad, aka @meandmybigmouth), Martha (9) and Ethan (claims 32, actually 11.) We are watching in Casa Pack and I am typing on the smallest keyboard I've ever seen outside of a phone. Also, I can't pause the telly here, so commentary may be brief. And I have to watch Bruce because I can't fast forward. Pity me.

It's only pre-credits and Rhian has already predicted an exit for Michelle if she doesn't pull something spectacular out of the bag. Martha likes Matt and Kara. Ethan: "Oh my god, Tess Daly isn't wearing a curtain" - though personally I don't like the neckline of her dress. It channels funereal sling.

They come down the stairs. We are excited about the tangos and the charlestons - favourite dances for us all. The costumes are awesome. Scott is very excited about Erin's outfit. I am thrilled by Matt's strongman outfit and moustache but Scott reckons he and Aliona (tutu) look like they are out of Lazytown. And we are all stunned that Michelle is dancing with Ian Waite. Why?? This is what happens when I don't watch It Takes Two for a week.

First up, Jimi and Flavia, dancing a Charleston. We love it, even the opening bits with fake windows with bubble wrap curtains. Jimi's charleston faces are magnificent. It's incredibly lively and entertaining and Jimi does a cartwheel. It's not a great cartwheel, but it is, undeniably, a cartwheel.

Len doesn't like the windows. Alesha doesn't mind the windows. We like the windows. But Scott reckons it's a recipe for losing a point from Len 'I hate faff' Goodman. Craig likes the charleston faces. Craig, as ever, speaks wisdom.

our scores: 7, 7, 7, 7, 8 (Martha)
judges' scores: 6, 7, 7, 7

Next up, Scott (not our Scott) and Natalie, doing a tango. We will refer to Strictly Scott as Ssscott, after how Bruno pronounces his name. In opening VT, Ssscott plays one of his trump cards: he has a hilarious son. So does our Scott.

Natalie is dressed as a canary. It's dramatic, well-acted, well-danced, but inevitably pales a bit in comparison with Jimi's entertaining charleston - tangoes are a tad dry in relation. I don't know why I don't like it more than I do. I can tell it's good. Rhian blames the music which comes from some advert. None of us can remember what. Ferrero Rocher? Diamonds? Ssssscottish Widow?

Judges raving. Len: 'Best dance this season'. Bruno fits another few S-ses in Sssssscott's name and also thinks that it's the best dance so far.

Our scores: 9(E), 9(M), 8(Me), 8(S), 9(R)
judges' scores: 8, 9, 9, 9

Now Tina returns after a week with chicken pox. She and Jared will be doing a charleston which should suit them. Her chicken pox scars do not suit her, which of course makes us like her more. They are dancing to music from Bugsy Malone! Noticable frisson from the Pack household.

We are all singing along to 'You Give A Little Love'. Rhian points out that it's quite slow for a Charleston. Tina does a double cartwheel - Scott: 'oh blimey'. Tina does all the moves but doesn't actually dance, I think. Ethan counters that it is impossible to dance in a Charleston. Scott thinks the twiddly bits are good but there isn't enough dancing. Rhian calls it flat.

Alesha says 'this is your dance'. Bruno is with us. Craig is talking but we aren't listening because we have just spotted Billy Connolly in the audience and we need to explain to Martha who Billy Connolly is. I tune back in in time to hear Craig call it fantastic. Craig does not speak wisdom.

our scores: 6(me), 6(E), 7(R), 7(S, with 1 extra point for the pox), 7(M)
judges' scores: 7, 7, 8, 7 - we think Alesha is overmarking. Rhian points out that this is not uncharacteristic.

Next Felicity and Vincent. I met someone this week who told me that in real life Felicity is exactly like Barbara from the Good Life, which pleases me extremely. Felicity is practising with fruit tucked into her legwarmers so that she can tell her feet apart. This answers my question from last week as to what legwarmers are for nicely.

Ethan thinks there's too much faffing at the front. Rhian likes the music. I adore the Argentine stylings in the choreography, especially at the start. But later on it gets a bit stiff. And there is a terrible mistake - I am going to have to dock a point! I am VERY strict. We should all be. IT IS IN THE TITLE. It ends on a snog. We like the snog.

Judges agree with us. Sensible folk.

Our scores: 7, 7, 7, 7, and Scott was making pizza.
Judges' scores: 7, 7, 7, 8 - oh Bruno, you old romantic.

Next up Patsy and Robin. I had forgotten she was in it, which is a bad sign. Patsy is wearing a black bob, and thus looks like someone else completely, which doesn't help. Training footage largely a debate over whether to do funky chicken moves. Patsy wins the debate: there will be no chicken. Clever girl.

They are dancing to music from Chicago, so we can consider this her audition piece. On the basis of this I reckon she could get a prminent secondary role. We are all a bit quiet and say things like "quite good". Objectively I actually think Patsy is better than she seems. Scott thinks it's because she's low in energy; I wonder if maybe she's a bit uncharismatic.

Craig thinks it lost energy. Patsy says "I'm middle aged, darling." Len loves it. Patsy kisses Len. Patsy denies that she is auditioning for Chicago as she claims to be tone deaf. Scott points out that, in that case, purchasers of the Eighth Wonder album should demand their money back.

Our scores: 6, 6, 6, 6, 7(Rhian)
Judges' scores: 6, 8, 7, 7 - 8??? We think Len has lost his mind. Drink!

Next is Gavin and Kat. Gavin reveals that his idol is Peter Andre because of his singing. Only kidding. It's because of his body. This explains a lot. Gavin talks a lot about what he looks like AGAIN. Gavin may be a bit thick.

They are dancing to Toxic but sung in an Amy Winehouse voice. Ethan takes Dave Arch's name in vain by saying they should just play the CD. We watch in silence for a bit and then the collective verdict is that Gavin can't dance. Ethan reckons only the might of the Welsh vote is keeping him in. Ethan is perspicatious.

The judges agree. Gavin may, and will, comfort himself with the thought that he is better-looking than Peter Andre.

Our scores: 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
Judges' scores: 5, 6, 6, 6. Rhian says that Gavin looks like a little boy lost. Yes, but with the body of a celebrity wrestler.

Now it's Peter and Erin doing a charleston. We are all very happy for Scott. Gary Linekar turns up in the VT to big him up. They must be dead worried.

Erin is dancing in seamed stockings, a waistcoat and a bowler hat. When I point out how rubbish Peter is, Scott asks "is Erin dancing with somebody"? According to Scott, it will be their last week, but they have gone out with a bang. He's still talking about Erin's outfit. Best outfit of the series, he reckons. Martha's verdict: "I hope Ann Widdecombe is on next."

Judges hate it. Len likes the outfit.

Our scores: 3, 3, 3, 4(E), 10(Scott: 'My favourite dance of Strictly ever.)
Judges' scores: 2, 5, 6, 4 - 6???? Peter spent the whole dance staring in panic at Erin, maybe because of her outfit, but more likely because he couldn't remember what he needed to do next. Alesha, you're nuts.

Now it's Pamela and James doing a tango. James has grown unspeakable facial hair for the occasion. The Pamela v James tussle for supremacy continues to be a highlight of the series. Billy comes to rehearsals to pick up tips on how to control Pamela. Good luck with that, Billy.

They are dancing to Love Is The Drug. Pamela is dressed as the Quality Street Bet Lynch. It's great: staccatto, great legs (says Scott), dramatic, exciting, wonderful spins.

Bruno loves. Craig says it lost theatricality, Scott agrees, I don't. The only real issue the judges have is with posture.

our scores: 8, 8, 8, 7(Scott: 'not moved by it'), 7(M)
judges' scores: 8, 8, 9, 9 - Scott says this is overscored. Where was the passion?

Now it's Matt and Aliona. Martha and I are particularly excited. Rhian wishes Aliona would lose the pink hair. So say we all. In the VT, Matt has taken Aliona to the farm. She has chosen wellies that match her hair. Whenever they put Matt in a rural setting I get over-excited. Note to self, must re-read Lady Chatterly.

IT STARTS ON A UNICYCLE. And it gets BETTER from there. WE LOVE. WE LOVE. Whole of team Pack grining like idiots. Matt's charleston faces deserve an Oscar. Genius choreography, skillful and hilarious. There's an astonishing bit at the end where they do joint cartwheels. HURRAH!

Judges love and don't really care about the mistakes. There were mistakes? Oh.

our scores: 9s all round, Scott has awarded an entire point for the unicycle.
judges' scores: 9, 9, 9, 8 - Bruno you spoilsport! Audience booing their hearts out.

Now it's Michelle, who, it turns out, is dancing with Ian because Brendan had to go to New Zealand for his dad's funeral, poor bloke. But we all adore Ian. Rhian says that Michelle looks too thin. And so she does.

Maybe it's the tango or maybe it's Ian, but Michelle is dancing her best ever. Ian goes all out with the tango faces to remind us that he should NEVER have been sacked.

Judges are all happy. Huge improvement. Poor Brendan. Michelle says she loves to be held and to have two men. Indeed.

our scores: 7, 7, 7, 7, 8(M) - we are all giving her the benefit of the doubt for having to dance with someone new.
judges' scores: 6, 7, 7, 7 - they all do the Len 7 voice. Bruno's is slightly frightening.

Next Kara and Artem. Artem is in another stupid hat. He does love his stupid hats. Kara takes Artem home to meet parents. They show him the baby photos. Many implications that they are dating. I think the hats belie this theory.

Kara is dancing in a tinsel bikini. It is very well danced but I find the choreography a bit flat. The Packs do not share my feelings.

But the judges do! It's me and the judges against team Pack. Fight! Fight!

Our scores: 8, 8, 8, 8, 8
Judges' scores: 8, 8, 8, 8 - seems like a fight will not be necessary after all

Hurrah! It's Ann and Anton! How did I end up on team Ann? I don't know, but it could have something to do with the fact that she's starting this dance suspended from the ceiling in a winch. Scott: "It like having a sleeping bag full of melons hurled at you at great speed." The rest of the dance is so-so, but SHE WAS SUSPENDED FROM THE CEILING IN A WINCH. They dance to THAT tango music. Think of tango music: yes, that music. She is bad, but no worse than Peter.

Craig liked it - until Ann landed. Len says that seeing Ann descending from the sky in a truss was worth half the TV licence.

Our scores: 3(R), 3(M, who says she thinks Ann's getting taller) 4(me - 1 point for the winch), 3(S), 10(E)
Judges' scores: 3, 7 from Len "for entertainment", 6, 5

We all think Peter is to go. Also vulnerable: Michelle, though she may get the sympathy vote and the Ian vote, and Gavin, if he fails to galvanise the Wales vote.