Friday, 3 April 2009

How Not To Talk...

As I'm out and about during the day, I often see adults with learning difficulties out with their carers. Over time, I have got to recognise the carers' way of speaking: very firm, very clear, a touch of what from the outside sounds like patronising but probably only the result of speaking to adults in a manner and vocabulary we're more familiar with using for children, sometimes a note of exasperation if the carer is having a particularly trying day. Checking out the new Waitrose in Angel today, I heard one such carer obviously on the edge of losing his temper with his indecisive charge, lecturing them on the correct way to buy pasta sauce. And then I turned around. It wasn't an adult with learning difficulties. It was his girlfriend.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

friend of mine works with adults with ld - was mortified when out with a bunch of them when approached by some official type who asked 'who's in charge here?'. she said, 'isn't it obvious?'

hahaha

Billy said...

I've actually witnessed something similar. It was rather disturbing.

colette said...

The new Waitrose has opened in Angel?

Marie said...

Glad you go to straight to the important bit Colette. Yes it is now open and very exciting though the check-out is kind of weird.

Persephone said...

Is "learning difficulties" the new PC for "intellectually challenged"? How do I describe my younger daughter, who is on the autistic spectrum, but not officially autistic, and has "severe learning disabilities" but who is not actually mentally retarded (which used to be a euphemism, if you can remember back that far)?

Many people speak to my daughter as if she were an imbecile. (At least one of those people, alas, is her classroom teacher.) Naturally, I want to strangle them, but then, I don't know how I sound to strangers when I'm addressing my daughter. Maybe like that chap at Waitrose. My rule of thumb is imagining my daughter is an ESL student. ESL students are operating in an unfamiliar language, in a culture whose unwritten rules are mystifying. That describes my daughter to a T, and I have to be her guide, navigating her through the obstacle course of the everyday. I figure if I take on my old persona of ESL teacher, I might come close to striking the right balance between comprehensibility and respect. I don't know if I do, but lately she's been informing me that she's twelve years old, so I must be falling short.

I wonder if the girlfriend of that guy at Waitrose spoke English as her first language?

Marie said...

Persephone, I think "learning difficulties" is indeed the new PC for "intellectually challenged". No doubt it will be replaced by something else soon. It's hard to talk about this area without sounding like a complete berk unless you can be precise about the individual you are describing.

As for Mr Waitrose, the ESL comparison only really works if the ideal qualities in a teacher are "patronising and impatient". I wouldn't want that in a carer or a boyfriend.

Persephone said...

Well, I've been "matronizing and impatient" with my daughter, so I guess it's back to the drawing board...

Now, the trouble with all this twittering is I gather you went to a highly unusual theatrical production on Friday in which a series of unlikely things happened, but that's all I can gather. Did it actually make any sense? Or wasn't that the point?

Rebecca said...

Well maybe she did have some kind of learning difficulties, otherwise what the hell is she doing with that arsehole?

Marie said...

Persephone, it was the first part of a trilogy and I'm seeing the other two parts later this week, so I'll post a review then.