Results show in half an hour. Meanwhile, Martha has been drawing...

Near Doom Experience

The server went down! Panic! Fortunately we didn't miss much, just Bruce singing, and the least said the better. Join us back here for the results...

Oh, and votes from the Windsor jury? All for Alesha.

Head to Head Dances

Matt and Flavia have chosen to dance a quickstep. Scott invokes the name of Michael Flatley. I am digging it.

But Alesha's jive KNOCKS THEM OUT OF THE WATER! Even if it is a lot of her dance from week 3...

Scott 8 / 9
Rhian 8 / 9
Ethan 9 / 10
Martha 9 / 10
Marie 9 / 10

Bruno sounds quite lukewarm. Len refuses to have favourites. Craig maybe leaning towards Alesha. Arlene being hyper critical. None of the judges seem that excited. Weird.

Matt's scores:
Craig 9
Arlene 8
Len 9
Bruno 9

Alesha's scores:
Craig 9
Arlene 8
Len 9
Bruno 9

A fix! Ethan accuses Arlene of being drunk.

Former celebrities 2

We are very excited that Kelly is back, especially Martha. Kelly is Martha's favourite. We all still reckon that Gethin would have knocked Kelly out anyway.

Scott: "Kenny and Gaby deserve each other".

Damn. Gethin was great. He should have stayed in. Except that he would have to have danced all his dances from the last two weeks.

Kate's paso doble! YES! The Killers! Kate's pants! KATE'S PANTS! SCott 4, MArie 3, Rhian 3, Martha 4, Ethan 0.

John: is this the best dance of the series? Um, no. Marie 7, Rhian 7, Ethan 8, Scott 6, Martha 8.

Martha is beside herself seeing Kelly. Scott forbids sympathy voting. They would never have won because everyone hates Brendan. Rhian 8, Scott 8, Martha 10, Marie 8, Ethan 9 for Kelly 8 for Brendan.

It's our favourite Kenny dance. Ola doesn't cover her eyes this time. 8 from Scott, Martha 10 ("and it's the last 10 I'm giving all series"), Ethan 10, rhian 9. They are bonkers. I am giving a 7.

Martha and Ethan start dancing, distracting us all from Leticia. 7s we reckon but none of us are watching.

GETHIN'S SALSA! HE IS AD LIBBING! WHY IS HE NOT IN THE FINAL? WHY? HE HI FIVES THE AUDIENCE! WE HI FIVE BACK! We ALL gives 10s ("great hips", says Martha) except Ethan, who digs out the special 11 paddle!!!

Scott is outraged that Kate has been seated next to Ramps.

Alesha & Matthew Dance 2

"She still hasn't brushed her hair" says Martha.

Ethan primes himself for Diva Time.

They are dancing the Cha Cha. Yay!

Alesha is wearing the clippings from Tess's dress.

It's a big improvement on what we've seen so far, but still not perfect. We're perkier though and the scores are creeping up.

Marie 9
Martha 9
Scott 9
Rhian 9
Ethan: It's Diva Time! 10!

For once we don't hate what the judges are saying. Better than Jill Halfpenny indeed! I think he might be right!

Craig 9
Arlene 9
Len 10
Bruno 10

Matt & Flavia Dance 2

"I don't like the hairdo" says Martha.

In the VT Matt points out yet another bit where he couldn't remember how to dance. And then a bit where he fell over.

Flavia says that the flirting in Rhumba week came "from Matt, obviously". Nice.

They are doing the salsa.

Matt is no Ramps. I don't think he is doing this as well as last time. "A bit rushed" says Scott.

Marie 8
Ethan 8
Rhian 8
Scott 8
Martha ("I am Arlene") 7

Craig has lost his mind. They have all lost their mind. Arlene seems to be trying to call Matt a pervert. "She's crazy" explains Martha. Len describes the dance as "a gnat's scrotum better" than before. Scott thinks Bruno is auditioning for voiceover work. They are going to overmark again.

Tess is talking about journeys. Drink!

Craig 9
Arlene 10
Len 10
Bruno 10

The mood in Windsor is mutinous.

Former contestants dance

Ethan gives Brian and Karen a 1. Martha a 2, Scott a 6, Rhian a 4, Marie a 3.

Marie gives Stephanie a 6. Marie loves Stephanie. Martha gives her a 7, and points out that it's a great song. "A good 7" from Scott. 7 3/4 from Ethan, 7 from Rhian.

Huge cheers great Willie's return to the stage. He's still only getting a 5 from Marie. 5 from Ethan, 5 from Scott, 6 from Rhian, 6 from Martha.

Gaby we reckon has been practising from the moment she went out. 8 from me. 8 from Ethan ("2 for her personality"). 8 from Martha and Rhian, 7 from Scott.

5s all round for Dominic. We are all more excited about Penny, dancing to Martha's favourite song. 9 from Martha, 7 from Marie, 8s from everyone else.

Scott has just spotted Paxo in the audience, behind David Walliams.

I still love Penny. Lovely Penny.

Tess's belt from week 1 remains an abomination. WHAT IS IT?

SCD Alesha & Matthew Dance 1

Martha: 'She hasn't brushed her hair'.

They are doing the waltz.

Scott: She'll be all right if she needs to blow her nose.

It's a lovely waltz but not their best ballroom.

Martha: 9
Scott: 8
Marie 8
Ethan: 8
Rhian: 8

We are already grumpy at the prospect of her getting a 10 for this. The judges are overmarking. Have they been drinking? Craig just said "flawless." Len is now slating her feet. Not flawless after all. Windsor jury are with Len.

I have only just noticed Alesha's earrings. Good lord.

Craig 10
Alesha 10
Len 9 - and gets booed!
Bruno 10

Last Word on Tess's Dress

Ferrero Rocher.

SCD: Matt & Flavia dance 1

American Smooth! Thank god not their boring 4 Ten Waltz.

OH MY GOD IT'S NOT A DRESS IT'S CULOTTES!

They have just lost points with me and Scott for that. I can't take my eyes off them.

We agree that the dance is good and the lifts are lovely, but it lacks a bit of spark.

Marie: 8
Scott: 8
Martha: 8
Ethan: 8
Rhian: 7

The judges seem to agree. Matt's feet are below par, they say. Still, it helps that he didn't fall over.

Craig 9
Arlene 9
Len 9
Bruno 9

We are unimpressed. Where do the judges' votes go from here?

SCD live 17.50pm

And we're off! Martha helpfully recaps through the titles which of the couples are not in any more.

Tess is wearing a lemon yellow satin sheath reminiscent of nothing less than a roll of left-over wrapping paper held together by black elastoplast accessorised with a brass belt with sim card buckle and shoulder-length earrings. Nice to see you to see you nice.

Round one: Alesha wins the dress battle against Flavia. Martha: 'I don't like that dress.' Scott: 'I'm with you on that one.' It looks like pistachio ice cream dipped in diamante. Alesha wins the battle of audience cheers as well.

Scott speculates on the view down Tess's dress.

Strictly Come Dancing Live Final Live Blog 17.48

There are too many trailers. Hurry up!

Strictly Come Dancing Live Final Live Blog: The Build Up

The build-up is starting! How excited are you? We on the Windsor jury are VERY excited. In fact last night I dreamt that I went to Bali on holiday and I was panicking because I couldn't find a television to watch the final on. Sad but true.

Before the Stricly Come Dancing Live Final Live Blog goes LIVE, I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce our guest judging panel:

Martha, 6. Specialist subject: couture.
Ethan, 8. Specialist subject: impersonating Bruno.
Scott, 37. Specialist subject: exposed areas of Flavia.
Rhian, 39. Specialist subject: song choice.
Marie, 31. Specialist subject: fringes and belts.

We have spent all afternoon eating high sugar snacks, making score paddles out of cardboard, felt tip and clothes pegs, and speculating about how small Flavia's outfits will be. And now we are ready, ready, READY!

SCD minus 10!