Old People Have Sex Too

Or so my recent film watching would suggest. Who knew?

First up, Mamma Mia, which you might have thought was about a young girl who, about to get married, invites the three men who might be her dad to the wedding. No. In fact, it is about a woman whose daughter is going to get married, and whose daughter invites the three men who might be the dad to the wedding. Subtle but important difference. Especially when you consider the blithe liberties taken with casting. Sophie, the daughter in question, is incredibly young to be getting married, as everyone keeps saying: she is only twenty. Her mother, Donna, kept a pink, spangly, rather teenage-sounding diary at the time of her conception, and was, she says later in the film, turned out of home by her mother when she announced her pregnancy. So I'm thinking Donna must be about 40 years old, maximum. Donna is played by Meryl Streep: who is 59. Ageing her teen diary and furious mother to when she was 38.

So why not cast, say, Nicole Kidman (41)? Well, it wouldn't be as much fun, would it? Nicole's gorgeous 40-year-old friends would not look absurd in tight Abba costumes performing at her daughter's hen night, nor would they be as hilarious falling off boats a la Julie Walters (58) and they couldn't really make them sing "Does Your Mother Know That You're Out" to the sexy barman with any plausibility.

Not that I'm complaining, nor were the 98pc of the audience at Wareham's Rex Cinema who were women over sixty, and who clapped and cheered throughout the entire film. It's just interesting that's all: a decision made to appeal to a very specific demographic. On the other hand my neices (9 and 7) were mystified as to why almost the entire film consisted of women Grandma's age singing, dancing and snogging, and you got to see ole Pierce Brosnan's bare chest (55) a hell of a lot more than Dominic Cooper's (30).

Moving on to Something's Gotta Give, on TV the other night, in which Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson, though both romanced by sexy things half their age (Amanda Peet and Keanu Reeves), fall instead for one another. This has to be filed under 'underrated films of all time'. Every review of it I've seen has been lukewarm, a solid 3 stars from all the TV guides, 6.8 from imdb, on a ratings system where if the picture is the right way up it rates an automatic 5. In fact Something's Gotta Give is brilliant: intelligent, thought-provoking, funny, and at times very moving - for example, when Diane Keaton, having had sex for the first time in years, bursts into tears and said that she thought she had closed up shop forever. I can't think why this film isn't more popular. Could it be that some people still find older people having sex - real older people, who have to worry about things like reading glasses and viagra, and don't dance to Abba - kind of revolting? I for one must disagree. I plan to be an older person myself one day and definitely of the sex-having variety. Refering back to Mamma Mia though, it is noteworthy that of the trio of older women in that, only the young-looking Meryl Streep is allowed a sexuality that isn't tinged with ridiculousness, unlike Christine Baranski (many references to her plastic surgery) and Julie Walters (spends most of time falling over and chasing a terrified Stellan Skarsgard.)

Anyway, if you caught and enjoyed either of those movies and can stomach more close encounters of the elderly kind, might I finally recommend the film Venus, in which ageing actor Peter O'Toole becomes infatuated with a decidedly ordinary young girl? It didn't do particularly well on release (see above for oldies-bonking-is-gross theory) but it's one of my favourite films of the last few years. Beautifully performed by all, and O'Toole was robbed of his Oscar (though by Forrest Whittaker as Idi Amin, so I can't really grumble too much...)