QVC

You're going to have to trust me on this one, but QVC is a creation of utter genius.

I have just got back from a few days staying with a friend who is a QVC addict. I am ashamed to admit that I doubted her. I was wrong. QVC is the Pringles of television. Once you've popped, you can't stop. You can watch it for literally hours. Essentially, they spend all day and night trying to sell you bad jewellery made of stones you've never heard of (blueberry quartz, anyone?), pointless home "solutions", baffling beauty products, overpriced basics (watch them talk about tupperware for an hour!), all live, all unscripted. Unscripted is the magic. Recently I saw someone trying to sell jewellery from Brazil, a country which, she pointed out, is mostly famous for its milk. The key is that as long as they keep talking, it has a hypnotic effect so that all of the original thoughts are sucked out of your head and you genuinely start to believe that you need this stuff. I almost accidentally bought a full set of coathangers with useful trouser barbs. As an additional incentive to keep watching, members of the public can call in and discuss the exciting QVC products that they have already purchased. You'd be astonished how frequently the live phone-in is *not* abused.

Anyway, to convince you further, here are two brilliant examples that I tracked down on YouTube. They are both from America, so you will have to imagine the same thing for the UK, only a bit more Home Counties. The first clip is for a magnificent piece of exercise equipment that you can hardly do without, and the second is a glorious example of the joys of improvisation.





Can't resist? Just call in and buy...