If TV can have repeats, I don't see why the blog can't.
Today on Twitter the lovely Keris asked me to remind her of my editing / make-up analogy from my "legendary" now-defunct previous blog Struggling Author, and having tracked it down and read it, I found I enjoyed it a lot, in the way that one can only enjoy things one has written oneself and then completely forgotten every having written. So, for your delectation, here is a rare insight into the joy that is Being A Writer.
Oh fuck. Fucking hell. Fuck.
For the last couple of weeks I have been working on "rewrites" for my book. "Rewrites". Kind of suggests that you take the book and change little bits of it to make it better. I think that is considered the general idea. Doesn't sound like too much of a hassle. Shouldn't take too long.
So OK, put the rewrites out of your heads for a moment because I think most of you aren't novelists. A lot of you are women though so try this. Imagine that you are doing your make-up and it's all fine except that you have smudged a little bit of your lipstick. You try to wipe off that little bit of your lipstick and you realise that you had eyeliner on your finger so now you have smudged lipstick and a black smear on your cheek. So you wash the black streak off, but now you have taken off an area of your foundation. You reapply foundation to that area but the blending is all wrong now, so you are going to have to redo the foundation of your entire face. While wiping away the foundation, you smudge your mascara, but you can't take off the rest of your mascara without buggering up the eyeshadow. By now you look like fucking clown and any minute now you are going to have to go and wash your entire face and start again, and your boyfriend is shouting at you because you are going to be late for the party. And that's when you notice the smear of deoderant on your top.
Get the picture?
I "rewrote" something. I "rewrote" something else. I "rewrote" a few more things. And now my entire book is RUBBLE.
Fucking fuck in a fucking hat.
Employee spends 3 years ‘quiet quitting’ without management noticing, until
manager figures it out and claims: ‘You're not making any progress in your
career’
-
If you spend 3 years "quiet quitting" your job without actually getting
fired, are you really quiet quitting?
Instead of actually handing in a resignation ...
3 hours ago
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9 comments:
Completely brilliant. Thank you!
Hahaha! Love it! Some how you've managed to tap into exactly what I'm thinking today with some of my own projects.
Love it. Am total analogy slut.
Totally remember the original: I even recalled that brilliant final line (Malcolm Tucker would approve!)
Still, as a pretty much non-make-up-wearing female (we do exist!!) whenever I think of tinkering (and advising 'writers' every day, albeit students, it's something I have to try to do all the time) I find that the old Father Ted episode with the car as a prize provides another good analogy.
Ha! Perfect. And now I am shitting myself about rewriting novel 2 and I haven't even finished the first draft yet.
Talking of which - have you got any blog posts about wanting to murder your second novel (and then yourself?)
I jest. But only a teeny, tiny bit.
I've just stumbled upon your site - Cinnamon Brainstorm is a follower and I like hers and thought I'ld sample yours and I'm So glad I did. Great blog. Did you write 'Gods Behaving Badly' ? I read that book last summer on my holidays ! Fantastic !! I'll stop by again.
Great post incidentally. I understand entirely what you mean - I paint more than write and it's the same thing !
Since we are doing repeats, this is a quick update on the first dozen returns from the wedding song thing. So far we've only had one from your list and it's the Happy Mondays. We've got an Iron Maiden and an AC/DC, which is a worrying trend, but also an Al Green and a Leonard Cohen. Nothing yet from this century. I'll keep you posted.
Hi Jill! Yes, the very same. Glad you liked the book! Welcome to the blog.
Oh dear! Well, from the perspective of a kind of aspiring novelist the very idea of HAVING a first draft to work on, regardless of the quality, seems pretty impressive. Still, I think I can imagine this kind of frustration/horror.
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