Lipgloss Doooooooom

OK, I know that these posts are not interesting for most people. But I DON'T CARE. It's MY blog, and I am the one in LIPGLOSS DOOM. I think there is going to be more SHOUTING on this post. YES. Because I am in DESPAIR.

I've never been much of a person for make-up, but lately I have given in, because it was undeniable that wearing a bit of the stuff made me look better, and I am vain like that. So I wear Touche Eclat under my eyes, a bit of mascara and eyebrow pencil, Benetint on my cheeks, and until now I wore Clinique lipgloss most days. In fact I've been wearing the same shade of Clinique lipgloss for several years, because this particular one suits me and goes with all my clothes. Today, I popped into Selfridges to buy a new tube of it, and discovered that CLINIQUE HAVE STOPPED MAKING IT. This is a DISASTER. So I thought, sensible person that I am, well OK, I will choose the nearest shade that they have and try that. Except NOT ONLY have Clinique stopped making my favourite shade, they have also changed the CONSTITUTION of their ligloss, so that what was a nice, comfortable, easy to wear gloss is now something more akin to a coloured tube of GLUE. In the three seconds between me putting it on and me wiping it off in DISGUST, leaving my mouth looking as if I had been eating CHERRY JAM, half of my HAIR had already STUCK ITSELF to my MOUTH, AND I WAS WEARING IT BACK. My hair. Not my mouth.

So I left the shop with no lipgloss and only a week's worth left of my much-beloved one in the bottom of the tube. DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOMITY DOOM. DOOOOOOOOOOOOM. DOOM.

Ladies, and cross-dressing males. Can you help me? I need a nice, comfortable, non-sticky, non-gluey, coloured gloss, ideally in a plum shade. I am less concerned with durability than with it not welding my hair to my lips every time I go out on a breezy day. Please. Even Obi Wan Kinobe can't help me now.