This post from my big-mouthed friend reminded me of my theory of fat names and thin names, and my sub-theory of bearded and clean-shaven names, which I don't think I have ever elucidated here.
Basically, it's this. Some names are fat. Some names are thin. Some names suggest beards. Some names do not. So Brian Blessed correctly has a beard and is fat, but Geoff Hoon, who should be fat and bearded, is erroneously thin and clean shaven. I get away with being thin by virtue of my name Marie Phillips, but if I had married a boyfriend of long ago and become Marie Barraclough I'd be so fat you could roll me down a hill. Russell T Davies is fat. Steven Moffat, despite the word "Fat" in his name, is thin. David Tennant is thin. Matt Smith is fat. Karen Gillan is thin. Billie Piper is fat. And so on.
This makes perfect sense, right? Right?
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19 comments:
Should Billie Piper and Matt Smith be fat? Because they're not. Should you tell them? They might welcome an excuse to eat some cream cakes.
Billie is a Pipe. Pipes are usually not that fat....the Pied Piper wouldn't have been able to wrap his chops around a fat one would he?
Billie and Pied Piper. Couldn't be fat. Mona and Mike Typer - now THEY'd be fat......
Marie, I'm never ever telling you my real name.
But happy birthday from your birthday buddy anyway. It's 7:45 pm here in Ottawa, so it's now tomorrow in London...
If you had a thin name when you were born and were thin, and married someone with a fat name (and took it) are you obliged to get fat? Just wondering. Perfect post though!
So basically middle-class and southern names = thin, working class and nothern name = fat? Seems reasonable.
Whilst Vern will rarely see here stereotypical comments relating to gender, race, disability or sexual orientation, he shouldn't be surprised to see them about class. Oh, and the word is "rarely" because they do appear about men sometimes.
Ouch and double ouch, but I think the only Northern name on this list is Barraclough and the only working class one is Russell. Possibly Billie, but I'd associate that more with Holliday. So I have put them on the fat side of the fence, which means you might have a point. Except: In what way is David Tennant more of a posh / southern name than Matt Smith? In what way are Brian Blessed or Geoff Hoon working class or Northern names? Or Karen Gillan southern or posh? Seriously?
And slagging me off after this post for man-bashing? Let's keep the flaming relevant, folks.
Actually, you know what, I'm really irritated by this now. Moffatt is a northern name, isn't it? And I've decided that Billie is actually quite posh. Billy is more working class and guess what, it's a thin name (Billy Elliot is positively skeletal.)
And to be sure, I tried it on names I'd have no class association with and it still works. Vladimir is thin. But Nabokov is fat.
Bugger off, Vern (thin name, geography / class unknown.)
Ok as my real name is Moffatt, I feel qualified to speak on this. We're lowland Scottish - so that counts in my book as north, though I am a white middle class southern woman & my dad always reckoned we were Norman French as according to him a de Moffat came over with William the Conqueror. But I expect that was wishful thinking and we were cattle rustlers on the Scots/English border.
I am very very confused about the logic behind what is a fat or thin name though Marie. Is it just instinct, or is there a theory?
PS The Moffat/Moffatts/Moffitts/Moffetts/Mofits take your pick etc are also very undecided about how to spell their surname, does that make a difference to whether they are fat or thin? are the Moffits fat and the Moffatts thin?
Honey, I think you and me needs some serious birthday therapy. I'm not a huge fan of ABBA, but there are about three of them that I can stand. And when it's set up this way, how can we resist?
Here's a thin guy with FAT eyes...
It's about how it looks on the page and how it feels in your mouth. I can't really explain it. So Greek Gods: Apollo fat, Artemis thin, Athena fat, Aphrodite thin, and Poseidon huge and scary and muscular. And probably bearded.
Persephone, my iPhone won't show that movie but I will check it out next time I'm at a computer. Meanwhile best birthday vibes to you!
I used to do this sort of thing for a routine on manly and feminine words. Wet rag is manly. Moist towelette is feminine. That sort of thing.
And that's coming from a fat bearded name like Toby O'Brien....
I suspect I'm fat and bearded, although actually I'm fat and clean-shaven...
QI had something to say about this and why words sound like particular things...but I can't remember what they said. There is a factual reason for it though!
Jodie, I saw that one too - apparently onomatopaeia is inherent to all languages, and in the same way from language to language, which does make me feel a bit less like a mentalist.
I always thought there were round,square or triangle names, so I guess that equates to your fat/thin name theory. Eg. Marie:triangle
Sandra:round
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