How To Spot A Poorly-Reviewed Play

The latest mailout from the South Bank Centre plops into my mailbox, promoting the new Hanish Kureshi play The Black Album. It has two quotes from reviews on it. Two. The first one seems to be pretty good -

"The flawless cast do Kureishi’s funny script and excellent characterisation proud."

Well that's encouraging. Who said that?

Oh. London Lite.

Well, surely they got a decent quote out of a real newspaper? Look, there's something from the Daily Telegraph. A broadsheet, that mostly isn't given away on the tube to entertain people with its celebrity gossip and dating tips, even if it does have a slight tendency to stuff its pages with stories about Prince Charles.

"This is a long-over due [sic] look at a very urgent issue."

(Oops, they really should have got that ad subbed.) And......? No, that's the end of the quote. You might want to know whether it is an any good long overdue look, but the Daily Telegraph, it say nothing about that. [sic as well. That was deliberate]

Hmm.

Quick peak at the full Daily Telegraph review reveals exactly why they weren't able to pull a more encouraging quote out of it. It begins -

"It may not be the best page-to-stage adaptation ever to have graced the National Theatre. It may not even offer the full satisfaction of a thoroughly gripping yarn. But The Black Album, Hanif Kureishi’s new dramatisation of his 1995 novel, has one ace up its sleeve: it’s about a subject that matters."

Righty-ho. So it's bad, but it's WORTHY. Oh god, that's even worse.

And the Daily Telegraph is the best quote they can pull from anywhere?

I will not be going to see The Black Album by Hanif Kureishi.